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Zaled uchiha
Zaled uchiha
Missing-Nin (B-rank)
Missing-Nin (B-rank)
Ryo : 500
100%

V7 sesmic rumblimg force Empty V7 sesmic rumblimg force

Thu Sep 17, 2020 1:11 am
Name: V7 Sesmic rumbling force
Element: Earth
Rank: A
Specialty: Ninjutsu
Special Jutsu Type: N/A
Backstory:

The earth jutsu that zaled developed were of the large hard hitting variant. Unlike many he preferred to to keep opponents off balance and ultimately unable to properly react/ defend themselves. Both for his advantage, and to make the point not to oppose or interfere with him.

this creates an ever shaking rumble that both wears at the body, and the concentration of an target, making maintaining balence, and jutsu nigh impossible if weaker then the force of this jutsu. Although it will not deal any damage.


Appearance: the earth in the general area will shake and earth will crumble and crack loudly drowning out all sound. At the rnd of the jutsu the earth in the general area will be cracked and unstable. creating  an deep earthen ravine under the unstable earth.
Handseals: dog, boar, ram, dragon, bird, tiger, dragon, monkey, clap
Duration: 3 posts
Cooldown: 5 posts on conclusion
Range: 50 meter wide/deep cone in front in the user for general area, ravine created is 50 meters deep.
Power: 65
Speed: 65
Health: N/A
Stat Boosts: N/A
What it does:

The earth starting will start rumbling in a 50 meter wide/depth cone starting  from in front of the user. The user will be unaffected by neither the adverse effects nor the rumbling at all *meaning the user is unaffected by the stun of this justu.* This rumbling will spread across the earth surface within the effective range, and  affect anything/anyome else (excluding the user)  that is in contact with the ground in the range of the jutsu.

As such once it hits maximum range it will remain in the immediate vicinity in which it was originally casted,  regardless if the user remains in the same area, or not, and will not follow the user around. This is because it will be affecting the central area of this jutsu destabilizing the earth beneath its immediate vicinity.


Each other Individual/construct within the effective range, or that enters the range. Will have to make an strength check separately vs the power stat of this jutsu. If their strength stat is equal, or higher the jutsu's power stat. then they are unaffected by the jutsu, and can move normally not suffering from the stun effect.

If they fail the strength check. The shaking earth will disrupt the individuals balence, due to the tremors from the earth/surface going through their body. This will effectively knock said targets off balence, and force the affected targets in an kneeling position. Therefore robbing them of the ability to run, or in general move due to the tremors. In this state targets will be unable to physically move, meaning not even the simplest physical motions can be done.This goes from forming  handseals to reaching for weapons, and taking a step  Except for talking and breathing.

 In the case of targets underground using using earth jutsu, or similar variantions/methods to travel underneath the earth. The targets will still need to go through the strength stat check.  However, This jutsu will cancel said jutsu if said earth jutsu is lower then the power of this technique. If the power of said the earth jutsu is equal, or higher then it will still be maintained.

 This stun lasts untill targets are either out of range, somehow lifted off the ground, or if the jutsu ends. Note that while under the effect targets are still able to use jutsu that require no handseals. Despite how violent the ground shakes this will not cause harm to a target, and only stun the targets. But trees, and other objects falling from the violent shaking still can cause harm by falling on the targets.


unstable earth ravine

Upon conclusion of this jutsu the affected earth will be loose and unstable.  resulting in the affected ground's health stat to be reduced by the total power stat of this jutsu. Additionally  to break the lossend ground damage will no longer need to be 20 points above its health stat, and will only require damage to merely surpass the grounds health stat.

An induvidual/construct/ creature,  a physical attack, or an earth jutsu with strength stat/impact force, or power stat that is greater then the affected ground's health stat will cause the loose earth in the vacinity to break,  and cause all targets within the original affected area to fall into an 50 meter diameter wide, and deep hole beneath the surface. (disruption can come from effects underground via an earth jutsu or similar methods like creating a Shockwave from another attack/hit.) With how it works, this will prevent targets from using tree surface walking technique if their strength stat is higher then the grounds health stat from this point,  and will require additional support from other scources to escape from the unstable earth.

If the ground is broken then upon falling into the earthen ravine so will other induviduals/creatures, and sorrounding eviormental veggitation/structures within the effective area. Target(s) caught in this will potentially be crushed, and burried alive  under the weight of the earth/other vegetation/ structures. With the closest to the center being buried at 50 meters below the ground. This damage clearly being equal to the power stat of this jutsu.

 (if they somehow survive) To physically dig out of this. Targets will require an effective strength stat greater then  the power of this jutsu to shift through the mess. Optionally a target can use an escape method that is avalibe for them to use. (sample escape  means: teleportation, or an earth that enables them to travel through the earth.)

Should a target fail then after 3 posts they will die crushed under the weight of the earth, vegitation, and other stuff on top of them, and the lack of quality air to breath.

The ravine will remain in the area permantenly unless somehow the ground is shifted/restored through an earth jutsu of equal/ higher rank then this jutsu.


Character Specific: Zaled uchiha and thoes he teaches
Wordcount to learn: 2.875k
Action Cost: 48, 24AP upkeep. (no need for paying for upkeep for the ravine)
Mastery: yes
Bonus Requirements: Must have ninjutsu as first or second specialty, earth must be first element.
Canon, Custom, Bloodline or Village Exclusive: custom. (v6 variation sesmic rumbling force


Last edited by Zaled uchiha on Sat Nov 21, 2020 3:02 am; edited 10 times in total
Ichigo Sato
Ichigo Sato
Jounin
Jounin
Ryo : 67650
100%

V7 sesmic rumblimg force Empty Re: V7 sesmic rumblimg force

Wed Oct 07, 2020 5:03 pm
Hello Yen, sorry for the wait. I'll be the Trial looking over your app so let's get started.

So this technique looks like a debuff which is why I'm going to ask you to modify it to reflect what's written in Special Technique Guidelines regarding debuffs.

- First paragraph: I'd like you to add that the technique is centered around the user. 
- Second paragraph: given the nature of the technique I'd like you to add/word that it inflicts a -50 to the target's power considering you have chosen strength as stat check (I could even see speed being the stat receiving the debuff but power works as well I suppose). 

Unstable Earth Ravine:
Not sure how I feel about this part honestly, but let's give it a shot.

- Whereas the first part of this jutsu mentioned that the user isn't affected by it, I'm missing any clause like that. The way it's written could imply that the user himself can also get caught in these effects. Did you mean/intent to have it that way?
- Not sure about the 50m but we can keep it like that for now.
- Personally I'd like this line to be removed: "For every 10 meters buried, a target will need an additional +5 to the strength stat requirements to dig out."

- Wordcount to learn should be 2.875 considering the amount of points it is from the beginning marker for A-Rank.
- For the same reason mentioned above, I'd like to see the Action Cost and Upkeep being 47/23.

These are the points for now, once edited I'll have another look.

Thank you.
Zaled uchiha
Zaled uchiha
Missing-Nin (B-rank)
Missing-Nin (B-rank)
Ryo : 500
100%

V7 sesmic rumblimg force Empty Re: V7 sesmic rumblimg force

Wed Oct 21, 2020 11:52 pm
mmmm

so some edits done, but i'll solidify on a stance of this being a stun, instead of an  debuff, and additionally this remaining in the general area.

stun vs debuff

For the most part i will kindly keep this a technique a stun oriented technique.

The reasoning is unlike an jutsu that debuffs, this does affect the body of said targets, and instead of lowering a parameter which is what a debuff does. If the target fails the  strength check it outright robs the ability to move so long as the targets remain in contact with the ground in its effective range. While unlike a debuff which enables retaliation/ the ability to still act in a weakened state. This is a means to disable a target for potential elimination if of course too weak. (note they can still use sealess jutsu even if stunned.)

remaining around the user vs  centralized area

This is more a centralized technique that the changes the landscape via the ravine.  Therefore there is not much sense to have it remain around the user after casting it as that takes away the second part of the jutsu.. Because if remaining around the user that will allow the user to move and keep this around them even if they run 100 meters away, Instead of keeping it in a general area like it is supposed to work.  Since all three posts of the shaking earth creates the ravine, due to destabilizing the earth in that one 50 meter area.



ravine part

1. yep i intentionally left out immunity for this, as the user can indeed fall into the ravine/get caught in it if they foolishly step into it. requiring the same strength chect etc potential death too.

2. no worries

3. edited out

4. turned it to 48/24 upkeep.

5. wc adjusted.

additional made a nice few sentences in first paragraph adding to the immunity. nice and crystal clear.
Zaled uchiha
Zaled uchiha
Missing-Nin (B-rank)
Missing-Nin (B-rank)
Ryo : 500
100%

V7 sesmic rumblimg force Empty Re: V7 sesmic rumblimg force

Thu Oct 22, 2020 12:07 am
additional edit turned this into a 50 meter cone
Ichigo Sato
Ichigo Sato
Jounin
Jounin
Ryo : 67650
100%

V7 sesmic rumblimg force Empty Re: V7 sesmic rumblimg force

Mon Oct 26, 2020 9:09 pm
Alright, let's take a look at the changes.

About the cone/general area: you mention it's 50m wide in the range section, but in "what it does" it reads to me as if the cone can travel 50m far. Could you specify a bit more? I'm aware it shouldn't be around or follow the user, but I just want to make sure I have the range right.

Similar to the original app, I'd like you to specifically mention that it only affects those that are actually in contact with the earth within the range. 

Considering the power of the jutsu I'd also like to see at least one extra hand seal before the clap.

I think that got most of my points covered.
Zaled uchiha
Zaled uchiha
Missing-Nin (B-rank)
Missing-Nin (B-rank)
Ryo : 500
100%

V7 sesmic rumblimg force Empty Re: V7 sesmic rumblimg force

Sat Nov 21, 2020 3:07 am
edits made

added 2 seals, clarified the range, and the effect range for people in the effective area.
Ichigo Sato
Ichigo Sato
Jounin
Jounin
Ryo : 67650
100%

V7 sesmic rumblimg force Empty Re: V7 sesmic rumblimg force

Sat Nov 21, 2020 8:19 am
Trial Approved
Mizuki Ohta
Mizuki Ohta
Kazekage
Kazekage
Ryo : 233650
100%

V7 sesmic rumblimg force Empty Re: V7 sesmic rumblimg force

Wed Nov 25, 2020 7:55 pm
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