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Ancient
Chuunin of Kiri
Chuunin of Kiri
Ancient

Fame : 1
Home Village :
  • Mist

Element(s) : Water
Ryo : 4600
100%


Polar Bears  of the Jade Echo Empty
PostSubject: Polar Bears of the Jade Echo   Polar Bears  of the Jade Echo I_icon_minitimeSat Jul 20, 2019 8:57 am

Contract Race:  Polar Bears of the Jade Echo 
Appearance: Cubs are about 3 feet. Adult members can be to 15 ft. tall.  All members  have white hair on their skin and dark eyes. 


These bears  love to live in extremely cold environment. They originate from the island country and snow country.  

Average abilities: 
- Ninjutsu and Genjutsu spec(typically utilizing sound based genjutsu via growling, though of course not limited to that sole method of Genjutsu)
-Sharp teeth and claws (Health = Summon's health; Sharpness = Summon's strength) 
- Water Element 


Passive Abilities: 
- Can communicate with each other,  their summoner and surroundings ( Human speech) 
- They are pretty good swimmers  and jumpers
-Can stand on their hind legs
-  Can make handseal
-Maximum fluffiness
- Night vision


Last edited by Ancient on Wed Jul 31, 2019 10:05 pm; edited 14 times in total
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Ancient
Chuunin of Kiri
Chuunin of Kiri
Ancient

Fame : 1
Home Village :
  • Mist

Element(s) : Water
Ryo : 4600
100%


Polar Bears  of the Jade Echo Empty
PostSubject: Re: Polar Bears of the Jade Echo   Polar Bears  of the Jade Echo I_icon_minitimeSat Jul 20, 2019 10:09 am

This is pretty much almost the same thing with Nero Yuki’ Polar Bear summon race. I only added Genjutsu spec to the average abilities of the bears. I'm not really sure Nero is still on the site or lemme say this summon race is not in use, I decided to do a little modification...
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Kutari Uchiha
Missing-Nin B
Missing-Nin B
Kutari Uchiha

Fame : 19
Home Village :
  • Leaf

Element(s) : Water, Wind, Earth
Clan : Uchiha
Bloodline : Sharingan
Ryo : 23970
100%


Polar Bears  of the Jade Echo Empty
PostSubject: Re: Polar Bears of the Jade Echo   Polar Bears  of the Jade Echo I_icon_minitimeSat Jul 20, 2019 11:07 am

From my knowledge Nero Yuki is still on the site, and you can’t typically attempt to revamp someone’s app without consent from the owner or permission from staff. If he were to have been gone there’s a bit of leeway to be had with it, though for the time being that isn’t the case.

Now, you can make a different variation of polar bears that isn’t a complete copy and paste of the app Nero made and achieve your desires, though they’ll have to be of a different name and origination. See  here and here for an example, the same animal race though completely different originations and therefore different abilities if you will.

Regarding this summoning race having every polar bear as character specific, that can’t be allowed. You can’t make an entire summoning race’s Summons character specific automatically, though you can app a summon to be specific.  

Make the proper revisions and edits then we can go about grading this app and seeing it approved. To reiterate, you can make a polar bear summoning race and have different abilities such as this Genjutsu idea, though it can’t be a complete copy and paste over of another’s design like how it is now. Not to say you can’t have the same abilities that all polar bears should naturally have like fur or claws of course. 

Might be good to give them a unique title as well like the examples I gave you, maybe “Polar Bears of the Illusive Arctic” or something along those lines, just to switch it up and show they’re different. You can also just make them regular bears if you want, personal preference and all that jazz.


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Kutari Uchiha
Missing-Nin B
Missing-Nin B
Kutari Uchiha

Fame : 19
Home Village :
  • Leaf

Element(s) : Water, Wind, Earth
Clan : Uchiha
Bloodline : Sharingan
Ryo : 23970
100%


Polar Bears  of the Jade Echo Empty
PostSubject: Re: Polar Bears of the Jade Echo   Polar Bears  of the Jade Echo I_icon_minitimeMon Jul 22, 2019 6:30 pm

I see you have another creation app up, specifically ‘twin tiger’, on this forum you can only have one creation app actively graded at a time, so are you putting this one on hold?


Polar Bears  of the Jade Echo Ku2

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Ancient
Chuunin of Kiri
Chuunin of Kiri
Ancient

Fame : 1
Home Village :
  • Mist

Element(s) : Water
Ryo : 4600
100%


Polar Bears  of the Jade Echo Empty
PostSubject: Re: Polar Bears of the Jade Echo   Polar Bears  of the Jade Echo I_icon_minitimeMon Jul 22, 2019 6:59 pm

Yes... I'll add the WIP now. I'm sorry, it skipped my mind.
I'll finish all edits here as soon as the weapon is approved.
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Ancient
Chuunin of Kiri
Chuunin of Kiri
Ancient

Fame : 1
Home Village :
  • Mist

Element(s) : Water
Ryo : 4600
100%


Polar Bears  of the Jade Echo Empty
PostSubject: Re: Polar Bears of the Jade Echo   Polar Bears  of the Jade Echo I_icon_minitimeThu Jul 25, 2019 9:01 pm

Bump... 

I am a man of my words... Lol
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Kutari Uchiha
Missing-Nin B
Missing-Nin B
Kutari Uchiha

Fame : 19
Home Village :
  • Leaf

Element(s) : Water, Wind, Earth
Clan : Uchiha
Bloodline : Sharingan
Ryo : 23970
100%


Polar Bears  of the Jade Echo Empty
PostSubject: Re: Polar Bears of the Jade Echo   Polar Bears  of the Jade Echo I_icon_minitimeFri Jul 26, 2019 2:35 am

The immunities/unaffecteds you listed can’t be allowed as natural abilities since they’d need to Be made as jutsu for summons, we can’t just have enemies having natural immunities to certain forms of attacks.

Highly skilled in Ninjutsu and Taijutsu isn’t really an average ability, that would showed in their stat spread most likely. Take that one out or clarify on what it means.

You don’t have to limit your genjutsu usage to one person. You can just say “sound based genjutsu via growls”. The apps will state how many people are affected most likely or whatever. 

Sound release would have to be apped as an advanced element in the creation page, in which case you shouldn’t have a base element and advanced element on your summons. Gotta choose one or the other, you can have two base elements or just one advanced. I’d recommend trying to make a sound release app tailored specifically for this summon race and list what you described there, and utilize yin and yang chakra and not include wind, since then they’ll need the element of course. Also I don’t believe typical shinobi I’d sound release was ever created could only make it through growling and actions akin to a polar bear. So might want to do that.

Can see in the dark is more a passive ability and described as night vision. Also can you switch around and update the wording on passive abilities? As is you have it a complete copy of nero’s Polar bears which isn’t okay and should at least be worded differently even if they’re the same species, even his own quirky app jokes have been copied. Also move over the teeth/claws piece to passive ability.


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Ancient
Chuunin of Kiri
Chuunin of Kiri
Ancient

Fame : 1
Home Village :
  • Mist

Element(s) : Water
Ryo : 4600
100%


Polar Bears  of the Jade Echo Empty
PostSubject: Re: Polar Bears of the Jade Echo   Polar Bears  of the Jade Echo I_icon_minitimeFri Jul 26, 2019 12:06 pm

Well , I agree with you, since that's what the rules says. 

Do you mind if I continue with this app to get it approved ?. Or If you won't allow that, I'd just app the sound release specifically for this summon race
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Ancient
Chuunin of Kiri
Chuunin of Kiri
Ancient

Fame : 1
Home Village :
  • Mist

Element(s) : Water
Ryo : 4600
100%


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PostSubject: Re: Polar Bears of the Jade Echo   Polar Bears  of the Jade Echo I_icon_minitimeFri Jul 26, 2019 3:46 pm

Edits made
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Kutari Uchiha
Missing-Nin B
Missing-Nin B
Kutari Uchiha

Fame : 19
Home Village :
  • Leaf

Element(s) : Water, Wind, Earth
Clan : Uchiha
Bloodline : Sharingan
Ryo : 23970
100%


Polar Bears  of the Jade Echo Empty
PostSubject: Re: Polar Bears of the Jade Echo   Polar Bears  of the Jade Echo I_icon_minitimeSun Jul 28, 2019 2:03 am

It’s not necessary for you to state your race can use ninjutsu and taijutsu. Take it out.


Higher members are more proficient with using sound based jutsu. They can  use teleportation jutsu . ( C rank and above) ”
Not necessary either. You can potentially create jutsu like that in the future without this line, take it out.

“Can use Sound based and lightning  jutsu. ”
This line is also redundant since you said earlier they used sound based genjutsu via growling. Just say the summoning race has the lightning element.


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PostSubject: Re: Polar Bears of the Jade Echo   Polar Bears  of the Jade Echo I_icon_minitime

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