HomeFAQSearchMemberlistUsergroupsRegisterLog in
Copyright
Naruto, Naruto Shippuden
© Masashi Kishimoto

Naruto RPG © LostLegend

©opyrighted
All things created on this site are the works of their respective owners, Masashi Kishimoto, LostLegend, Cloud, Masuru, Jinchuriki3, and all related topic and forum creators. Information may not be taken from forum descriptions, category descriptions, topics or posts without the creator's permission in any way, shape or form. Anyone who copies the site's content without said creators permission will be tracked down and punished.


Protected by Copyscape Duplicate Content Finder
Guest
New PM's : 0
Post Count
46 Private messages
Important Threads

Poll
How did you find this site?
Search engine
Genki Rones - Page 2 I_vote_lcap64%Genki Rones - Page 2 I_vote_rcap
 64% [ 363 ]
Word of mouth
Genki Rones - Page 2 I_vote_lcap16%Genki Rones - Page 2 I_vote_rcap
 16% [ 93 ]
Forum advert
Genki Rones - Page 2 I_vote_lcap2%Genki Rones - Page 2 I_vote_rcap
 2% [ 14 ]
Social media
Genki Rones - Page 2 I_vote_lcap2%Genki Rones - Page 2 I_vote_rcap
 2% [ 12 ]
Other
Genki Rones - Page 2 I_vote_lcap15%Genki Rones - Page 2 I_vote_rcap
 15% [ 82 ]
Total Votes : 564
Staff List
Owner:
Sakana Meijin

Administrators:
Alice Nara

Moderators:
Hikari Namikaze
Kenshin Uzumaki

Trial Moderators:
Hikari Hyuuga
Maximillian Yamaguchi


Calendar

Genki Rones - Page 2 Cherry16

82 SPRING, 419AV
Bijuu and Kage

Bijuu

1-Tails: Takeo Tadashi
2-Tails: ---
3-Tails: Sakana Meijin
4-Tails: ---
5-Tails: Valen Akari
6-Tails: Nobunaga Hiyu
7-Tails: ---
8-Tails: Xyxer Gyojin
9-Tails: ---


Kage

Hokage: Kinzoku Nazar
Hogokage: ---
Mizukage: Xyxer Gyojin
Raikage: Maximillian Yamaguchi
Latest topics
» Gazing Upon What Once Was
Genki Rones - Page 2 I_icon_minitimeby Maximillian Yamaguchi Today at 3:54 am

» Parasitic Genjutsu
Genki Rones - Page 2 I_icon_minitimeby Rin Togakawa Today at 2:16 am

» Moving on into the sunset.
Genki Rones - Page 2 I_icon_minitimeby Artimus Yesterday at 11:35 pm

» Hoshigakure Escape Topic
Genki Rones - Page 2 I_icon_minitimeby Artimus Yesterday at 11:26 pm

» Draconic Lineage
Genki Rones - Page 2 I_icon_minitimeby Alice Yesterday at 11:09 pm

» Genin exam.
Genki Rones - Page 2 I_icon_minitimeby Alice Yesterday at 11:05 pm

» Mending the Magical Girl
Genki Rones - Page 2 I_icon_minitimeby Hikari Namikaze Yesterday at 10:56 pm

» The Calm Before The Storm
Genki Rones - Page 2 I_icon_minitimeby Nobunaga Yesterday at 9:29 pm

» Artimus Noxus Uchiha stats.
Genki Rones - Page 2 I_icon_minitimeby Artimus Yesterday at 8:18 pm

» Always Sunny in Kirigakure [Kots]
Genki Rones - Page 2 I_icon_minitimeby Xyxer Yesterday at 5:24 pm

Top posting users this week
Tadashi Namikaze
Genki Rones - Page 2 I_vote_lcapGenki Rones - Page 2 I_voting_barGenki Rones - Page 2 I_vote_rcap 
Artimus
Genki Rones - Page 2 I_vote_lcapGenki Rones - Page 2 I_voting_barGenki Rones - Page 2 I_vote_rcap 
Alice
Genki Rones - Page 2 I_vote_lcapGenki Rones - Page 2 I_voting_barGenki Rones - Page 2 I_vote_rcap 
Hikari Namikaze
Genki Rones - Page 2 I_vote_lcapGenki Rones - Page 2 I_voting_barGenki Rones - Page 2 I_vote_rcap 
Genki Rones
Genki Rones - Page 2 I_vote_lcapGenki Rones - Page 2 I_voting_barGenki Rones - Page 2 I_vote_rcap 
Hikari Hyuuga
Genki Rones - Page 2 I_vote_lcapGenki Rones - Page 2 I_voting_barGenki Rones - Page 2 I_vote_rcap 
Xyxer
Genki Rones - Page 2 I_vote_lcapGenki Rones - Page 2 I_voting_barGenki Rones - Page 2 I_vote_rcap 
Rin Togakawa
Genki Rones - Page 2 I_vote_lcapGenki Rones - Page 2 I_voting_barGenki Rones - Page 2 I_vote_rcap 
Nobunaga
Genki Rones - Page 2 I_vote_lcapGenki Rones - Page 2 I_voting_barGenki Rones - Page 2 I_vote_rcap 
Maximillian Yamaguchi
Genki Rones - Page 2 I_vote_lcapGenki Rones - Page 2 I_voting_barGenki Rones - Page 2 I_vote_rcap 
Cursor Enabler
Spoiler:
Log in
Username:
Password:
Log in automatically: 
:: I forgot my password

Share
 

 Genki Rones

Go down 
Go to page : Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5  Next
AuthorMessage
Genki Rones
Jounin of Hoshi
Jounin of Hoshi
Genki Rones

Fame : 0
Home Village :
  • Star

Element(s) : Fire, Earth, Lightning
Clan : Uchiha
Clan Element : No You
Bloodline : Sharingan
Ryo : 1000
100%


Genki Rones - Page 2 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Genki Rones   Genki Rones - Page 2 I_icon_minitimeSat Apr 13, 2019 3:52 pm

edited


"We're not just going to shoot the bastards, we're going to rip out their living goddamned guts and use them to grease the treads of our tanks." - Patton. Will you be the next person whose sole purpose is to provide grease for our tank treads Guest?

Power Level
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Genki Rones
Jounin of Hoshi
Jounin of Hoshi
Genki Rones

Fame : 0
Home Village :
  • Star

Element(s) : Fire, Earth, Lightning
Clan : Uchiha
Clan Element : No You
Bloodline : Sharingan
Ryo : 1000
100%


Genki Rones - Page 2 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Genki Rones   Genki Rones - Page 2 I_icon_minitimeSun Apr 14, 2019 8:55 am

Bump
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Alice
Missing-Nin B
Missing-Nin B
Alice

Fame : 84
Home Village :
  • Leaf

Element(s) : Earth, Water
Clan : Nara
Bloodline : -
Ryo : 8650
100%


Genki Rones - Page 2 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Genki Rones   Genki Rones - Page 2 I_icon_minitimeMon Apr 15, 2019 1:46 am

Hey there. Sorry for the wait. I know it’s been a little bit so I’ll get right to it.

Please give me more of a description for your time as a Genin and your time as a Chuunin. Particularly a mission or some other important event that led to Genki becoming more proficient in quick decision making in the field or being acknowledged for some type of leadership quality perhaps. Also several sentences in your history, specifically pertaining to the jounin exams, seem to be basically cut and pasted from earlier on where you mention the chuunin exam.


I’m gonna be honest here. We can keep working on this until think it looks good enough, or you can pretty much leave it as it is now and go for a Chuunin spot instead which is what I would recommend for you. Either way I’ll be glad to help so let me know what you decide. Cheers
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Genki Rones
Jounin of Hoshi
Jounin of Hoshi
Genki Rones

Fame : 0
Home Village :
  • Star

Element(s) : Fire, Earth, Lightning
Clan : Uchiha
Clan Element : No You
Bloodline : Sharingan
Ryo : 1000
100%


Genki Rones - Page 2 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Genki Rones   Genki Rones - Page 2 I_icon_minitimeMon Apr 15, 2019 9:09 am

edited


"We're not just going to shoot the bastards, we're going to rip out their living goddamned guts and use them to grease the treads of our tanks." - Patton. Will you be the next person whose sole purpose is to provide grease for our tank treads Guest?

Power Level
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Hikari Namikaze
Nova Corps
Nova Corps
Hikari Namikaze

Fame : 158
Home Village :
  • Star

Element(s) : Wind, Fire, Lightning
Clan : Akari
Clan Element : Light
Bloodline : Golden Eyes (V2), Chakra Chains, Uzumaki Longevity, Inner Light
Ryo : 13950
100%


Genki Rones - Page 2 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Genki Rones   Genki Rones - Page 2 I_icon_minitimeMon Apr 15, 2019 4:07 pm

Hey, I guess Alice and I are tag teaming this now.

So, if you still want to be Jounin, I am going to have to ask that you expand more about how you obtained the rank of Jounin. You basicly just say "Then, it was time for the Jounin exams. Genki made it to the finals, but lost to his older brother" Which is very similar to how your charcater obtained the rank of Chunin. Honestly I would prefer you actually came up with another way for you to of obtained the rank all together, since Hoshigakure doesn't really have a tournament like structure to their Jounin exams. In the past, Jounin have been ranked up based on their deeds on missions, or in the further past (About 2 years ago or so.) Was done by challangeing a master rank (Kage level) shinobi to a spar and defeating them without killing them. I'm not going to hold you to that, but I would like to see some more on this subject.


Genki Rones - Page 2 Tumblr_osirvsHJjP1qehrvso2_540


How many days had it been since the girl had been put in these chains?
How many nights had it been since the girl had graced her stomach with a full meal?
How many hours has it been since the girl was striped of her vestments and put into these rags?
How much punishment had the girl taken for the one she loved?
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Hikari Namikaze
Nova Corps
Nova Corps
Hikari Namikaze

Fame : 158
Home Village :
  • Star

Element(s) : Wind, Fire, Lightning
Clan : Akari
Clan Element : Light
Bloodline : Golden Eyes (V2), Chakra Chains, Uzumaki Longevity, Inner Light
Ryo : 13950
100%


Genki Rones - Page 2 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Genki Rones   Genki Rones - Page 2 I_icon_minitimeMon Apr 15, 2019 6:26 pm

Hey, I saw you edited and figured you may of just forgotten to bump. So lets get into the meat of this!

Appearance Your appearnce is Ok, but I have a quick question for you about it. You mention in your paragraph 'On the necklace is the three-tomoe Sharingan.' First, I assume you mean the symbol of a three tome Sharingan? Also, if your character craives power like it hints at later in the app, why does he openly advertises that he is amoung the Uchiha clan like that? Since his last name isn't Uchiha, I would assume that he would be attempting to hide his clan lienage as to not give his enemies info on him. You don't have to change that if you wish not to, but just a thought to have.


Personality: So, as a DND Chick, I know what you mean when you say "He really likes to escape reality and likes to build alternate worlds." but would you mind expanding on that to say in his RPGs? Since you now have the Space Time spec, people might mistake that and think you mean alternate dimensions, which we can't have in this app just yet.

In your this paragraph, you also mention about how your charcater was considered toxic, mind going into that a bit more? What actions did he preform that made people think he was toxic? Why did he do such toxic activities? Did he think that it was ok? Did he just not care about what others thought of him? What happened to make him less toxic?


History - Paragaph 1: So, not a requirement to fix, but just something to think about ot make this app look better. In it you mention that Genki's brother was 3 years younger than him, and Genki was always in that brothers shadow. Are you sure you don't mean older? Makes more sense to me personally, but as I said, this isn't a requirement to change.


In this paragraph, you also mention that when he was younger he was at the ninja academy. Would you mind giving an age range to this? The reason why I ask is because Hoshigakure is still a fairly new village, only having been birthed about 4-5 years ago or so. As such, it might make sense if this was happening while your character was 12 or 13, but not so much if he was 6 or 7.

I'm sorry, I missed the age part of the academy thing. Mind changing it to when he was 12 or 13 to fit in our timeline better?

Also, I just want to point out since we have had issues with this in the past. You mention your willingness to become a wanderer to protect the village, but if you wish to become one, you would need to get permision from your kage IC before doing that. (Which I think is me right now, so it is a possiblity if everything goes well.)

History - Second Paragraph: So, I would prefer if you changed your method on how you ranked up to Chunin here as well, but right now I am not going to require it. It is basicly unheard of for a tournament to be what decides if one ranks up to Chunnin or not, however Hoshi has had a tournament in the past, and part of Hoshigakrue's Chunin exams is combat with others of their rank, so the way you are saying you ranked up isn't completely out of the realm of possiblity, but is very unlikely. I may change my mind and require you to change it later, but if you wish you can keep it this way for now.

History - Paragraph 3: Why exactly did he see value in his comarade from just because he healed his wounds? Surely at this point if Genki was wise he knew that some people specalized in certain areas and were valuable in that regard? How about adding a bit of a story to this to have it make more sense, like maybe his ally put himself into harms way to heal Genki? Maybe Genki thought that the wound was impossible to heal and he was a dead man, but his ally was able to save him? There is alot of directions you could go with this.

Going to ask you to take out the part about awakening your Mangegenko sharingan, as MS isn't something we allow players to start out with even if you have the WC for it. I may have other words about this if you decide to keep this story in. Also, why exactly was Genki given a promotion for a tree crushing a missing ninja? Did he lie and say he defeated the rouge? I'm dying for details.


Lets Hoshi this bad boy up a bit! From what I have been reading, I honestly feel like this is more of a Konoha or even possibly a Kirigakure application rather than one of Hoshi. Hoshigakure has a long history of its civilians and shinobi population buttting heads. I'll spare you the details and give you the TLDR for now: Haven Country has a vocal and strong religious population who belive that ninja arts is basicly  militarized of demonic magic, and treat those who use it as demons themselves. However, due to Haven's lack of major military force, they kept getting raided by bandits and MN until eventualy the Royal Family elected to start up a shinobi program. While this was needed for their survival, the civilian population hated it, and treat those that practice the art as monsters. How does your character react to this?


Just a few things to start us off with. Bump when you have finished these updates.


Genki Rones - Page 2 Tumblr_osirvsHJjP1qehrvso2_540


How many days had it been since the girl had been put in these chains?
How many nights had it been since the girl had graced her stomach with a full meal?
How many hours has it been since the girl was striped of her vestments and put into these rags?
How much punishment had the girl taken for the one she loved?
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Genki Rones
Jounin of Hoshi
Jounin of Hoshi
Genki Rones

Fame : 0
Home Village :
  • Star

Element(s) : Fire, Earth, Lightning
Clan : Uchiha
Clan Element : No You
Bloodline : Sharingan
Ryo : 1000
100%


Genki Rones - Page 2 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Genki Rones   Genki Rones - Page 2 I_icon_minitimeWed Apr 17, 2019 8:21 am

Edit (getting into D&D myself)


"We're not just going to shoot the bastards, we're going to rip out their living goddamned guts and use them to grease the treads of our tanks." - Patton. Will you be the next person whose sole purpose is to provide grease for our tank treads Guest?

Power Level
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Genki Rones
Jounin of Hoshi
Jounin of Hoshi
Genki Rones

Fame : 0
Home Village :
  • Star

Element(s) : Fire, Earth, Lightning
Clan : Uchiha
Clan Element : No You
Bloodline : Sharingan
Ryo : 1000
100%


Genki Rones - Page 2 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Genki Rones   Genki Rones - Page 2 I_icon_minitimeThu Apr 18, 2019 8:01 am

Bump


"We're not just going to shoot the bastards, we're going to rip out their living goddamned guts and use them to grease the treads of our tanks." - Patton. Will you be the next person whose sole purpose is to provide grease for our tank treads Guest?

Power Level
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Hikari Namikaze
Nova Corps
Nova Corps
Hikari Namikaze

Fame : 158
Home Village :
  • Star

Element(s) : Wind, Fire, Lightning
Clan : Akari
Clan Element : Light
Bloodline : Golden Eyes (V2), Chakra Chains, Uzumaki Longevity, Inner Light
Ryo : 13950
100%


Genki Rones - Page 2 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Genki Rones   Genki Rones - Page 2 I_icon_minitimeThu Apr 18, 2019 6:58 pm

Hey, sorry for the hold up.

I would still like to see more details about Hoshi in this, you make a slight refrence at the very start and don't really touch it again. (Which as a Jounin, you probably would of had to deal with them alot.)

What caused Genki to become a Shinobi, even though everyone around him was probably pressuring him not to?

When he had heard the news of Kirigakure's conquest of Konha, he didn't seem to mind because he realized that villages can regrow themselves and just because they lost their Kage doesn't mean they can't rebuild. A little bit confused what this line is doing here. How exactly does it impact your character?


Bump when ready.


Genki Rones - Page 2 Tumblr_osirvsHJjP1qehrvso2_540


How many days had it been since the girl had been put in these chains?
How many nights had it been since the girl had graced her stomach with a full meal?
How many hours has it been since the girl was striped of her vestments and put into these rags?
How much punishment had the girl taken for the one she loved?
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Genki Rones
Jounin of Hoshi
Jounin of Hoshi
Genki Rones

Fame : 0
Home Village :
  • Star

Element(s) : Fire, Earth, Lightning
Clan : Uchiha
Clan Element : No You
Bloodline : Sharingan
Ryo : 1000
100%


Genki Rones - Page 2 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Genki Rones   Genki Rones - Page 2 I_icon_minitimeFri Apr 19, 2019 7:26 am

Bump


"We're not just going to shoot the bastards, we're going to rip out their living goddamned guts and use them to grease the treads of our tanks." - Patton. Will you be the next person whose sole purpose is to provide grease for our tank treads Guest?

Power Level
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Sponsored content




Genki Rones - Page 2 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Genki Rones   Genki Rones - Page 2 I_icon_minitime

Back to top Go down
 
Genki Rones
Back to top 
Page 2 of 5Go to page : Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5  Next

Permissions in this forum:You cannot reply to topics in this forum
 :: Character Creation :: Approved Characters-
Jump to: