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 Miasma

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Kenshin Uzumaki
Nova Corps
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Fame : 94
Home Village :
  • Star

Element(s) : Earth, Water, Fire, Wind,
Clan : Tau Clan
Bloodline : Earth Grudge Fear
Ryo : 25000
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PostSubject: Miasma   Fri Dec 01, 2017 2:02 pm

Name: Miasma
Element: N/A
Rank: S-rank
Spec Type: Medical
Backstory:After Kenshin was hit by Hikari's Caelesti Lumine he realised just how badly he was outclassed in terms of firepower by basically everyone in Hoshi... well, everyone that matters anyway, and that was simply unacceptable. So he began to work on Medical Technique designed entirely to bring his offensive capabilities to an entirely new level. He used his favourite offensive technique, the Poison Mist, as the basis for this new technique, while at the same time channeling certain aspects of his newly perfected Mystical Palm Aura into this technique. The end result of this unholy union was a truly terrifying technique.

Appearance:  
Appearance:
 


Miasma takes the appearance of a pitch black cloud of smoke. This cloud seeps forth from the users body and expands outwards in a sphere-like shape

Handseals: Snake - Tiger - Ram - Rat
Duration: 1 Post
Cooldown:  6 posts
Range: 50 meters in all directions. 
Power: Chakra Stat
Speed: Chakra Stat
Health: N/A
Stat Boosts: N/A
What it does: Much like the Poison Mist technique, the user of Miasma molds the chakra within their body to create a specialized chemical substance that they are then able to excrete through their pores. When this substance comes into contact with oxygen outside the users body it transforms into an extremely deadly, chakra enhanced gas that spreads outwards at jutsu speed. This gas is extremely destructive in nature and will attempt to destroy anything and everything that it comes into contact with. The only exception to this is the user, as the gas itself will not destroy anything with 5 inches of the users chakra, thus preventing the user from destroying their own equipment or killing themselves when using this technique.

As Miasma expands outwards it will deal damage equal to jutsu power to everything and anything that it comes into contact with. If the power of Miasma exceeds the health of an item/armour/weapon/puppet by 20 or higher, then that item/armour/weapon/puppet is completely destroyed by Miasma. The same goes for jutsu, if Miasma exceeds another jutsu’s power (or health where applicable) by 20 or higher, then that jutsu is also destroyed. If the power of Miasma exceeds the health of anyone that it comes into contact with then it will completely destroy whatever part of them that it manages comes into contact with. if the health of a person exceeds the power of Miasma, but not by 20 or higher, than that person will gain severe chemical burns to whatever parts of their body that Miasma came into contact with.

Character Specific: Kenshin Uzumaki and those he teaches
Wordcount to learn: 8,000
Action Cost: 100
Mastery: No
Bonus Requirements: Mystical Palm Aura, Poison Mist, Medical Main Spec
Canon or Custom: Custom


Last edited by Kenshin Uzumaki on Sun May 27, 2018 1:36 pm; edited 11 times in total
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Gary
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PostSubject: Re: Miasma   Sun Dec 03, 2017 10:32 pm

Hello there!

Let's get to work shall we?

Backstory: I'd love to see this expanded, this is a pretty potent technique and the jump from poison gas to hungry-hungry chakra isn't all that clear.

Appearance: Images are cool, but I'd like some text along with this image in case the gif breaks for some reason. Paint me a pretty picture with words.

Handseals: Hit me up with two more.

Range: How about instead of 30 meters in all directions we call 30 meters the diameter? So, fifteen meters in all directions.

Effects:

Quote :
This gas is extremely corrosive in nature and will eat away at anything and everything that it comes into contact with. The only exception to this is Kenshin himself, and any other techniques that Kenshin uses, as the technique will not attack anything that possesses the same chakra that it does.

Should probably note somewhere how fast the stuff spreads when eating away at something for clarity's sake.

Quote :
For five posts after it's initial use, Miasma will linger around the area and deal damage equal to the techniques initial power to anything that comes into contact with it.

I'll give you a quarter the power for lingering effect. At the moment you are asking for a chakra stat technique that costs a one-time payment of 100 ap, so I think it is only fair that seeing as you are not paying an upkeep that it loses its power after the initial use.

Word count to learn: You are welcome to hobble yourself as you see fit, but you are also able to drop this down to 8k.

Please make these changes and give this thread a bump and I'll get back to you for round two.


"Battle not with Monsters lest ye Become a Monster and if you gaze into the abyss the abyss gazes also into you"
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Kenshin Uzumaki
Nova Corps
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Fame : 94
Home Village :
  • Star

Element(s) : Earth, Water, Fire, Wind,
Clan : Tau Clan
Bloodline : Earth Grudge Fear
Ryo : 25000
100%


PostSubject: Re: Miasma   Mon Dec 04, 2017 5:15 am

Made the edits as discussed over Skype (Reduced Range from 30 meter radius to 20. Clarified what lingering meant and reduced it's power. Removed portion that reduced the power of techniques that exceeded the power of Miasma. Added in two extra hand seals. Rewrote backstory. Changed wordcount from 10k to 8k. Added in appearence. Clarified the speed at which it destroys. Rewrote immunity portion.)

...I think that was everything but the edits were pretty extensive and took me awhile to make, so I may have forgotten something

Edit: Also changed resist from health higher than jutsu power to the standard jutsu power +20




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Gary
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Ryo : 20125
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PostSubject: Re: Miasma   Wed Dec 06, 2017 8:22 pm

I haven't forgotten you!

I just...er...put you on the back burner, forgive me.

I thought a lot about the range and I'd still really like to see it cut down to ten meters in all directions. However, I know you and I don't see eye-to-eye in that respect, so once more I'd like to suggest meeting somewhere in the middle, say 15 m in all directions?

Quote :
If this technique exceeds another jutsu in power (or health where applicable), the other jutsu will be completely devoured by this technique and it will continue to spread, but if the other technique exceeds the power of Miasma then it is completely uneffected.

Let's make it so that this jutsu has to have +20 power over the health/power of another jutsu to om nom it.

Quote :
When Miasma comes into contact with anything it will spread across what it came into contact with at jutsu speed. If it comes into contact with an item or an object then it must possess health superior to the power of Miasma to avoid being destroyed as the jutsu spreads.

Not a huge fan of this clause as it negates the established rules of weapons/armor being destroyed at a certain level above their give health stat. Please amend this such that it is in line with the health rules around those items.

I think that's all I got for you at the moment. As always please bump this thread when you are ready for me to look at it again.

You know where to find me if you want to parse out the details a bit more.



"Battle not with Monsters lest ye Become a Monster and if you gaze into the abyss the abyss gazes also into you"
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Kenshin Uzumaki
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Element(s) : Earth, Water, Fire, Wind,
Clan : Tau Clan
Bloodline : Earth Grudge Fear
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PostSubject: Re: Miasma   Thu Dec 07, 2017 1:25 am

Reduced range to 15 meters in all directions. Added portion that states Miasma needs  to surpass a jutsu's power/health by 20 to destroy it. Added in portion stating that Miasma needs to surpass an objects health by at least 50 to completely destroy it, and if it does manage to resist destruction, then it takes damage equal to Miasma's power (as stated in the weapon health portion of stat rules (that I had honestly never seen before lol))




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Gary
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PostSubject: Re: Miasma   Thu Dec 07, 2017 1:27 am

Yeah, sure, approved.

Please don't break things and/or people.


"Battle not with Monsters lest ye Become a Monster and if you gaze into the abyss the abyss gazes also into you"
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Kenshin Uzumaki
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Fame : 94
Home Village :
  • Star

Element(s) : Earth, Water, Fire, Wind,
Clan : Tau Clan
Bloodline : Earth Grudge Fear
Ryo : 25000
100%


PostSubject: Re: Miasma   Mon Feb 05, 2018 12:09 am

'If Miasma possesses power 50 or higher than the item or objects health, then it will be completely destroyed by Miasma as it spreads.'

Changed the 50 to 20 as per the new patch

Also reduced cooldown from 10 posts to 6 posts




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Sakana Meijin
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PostSubject: Re: Miasma   Thu Feb 22, 2018 12:47 am

Approved


Stat Page

Quick Stats:

Health: 30 (+ 20)

Chakra: 100

Stamina: 45 (+ 175 AP)

Speed: 100 (+25)

Strength: 50
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Kenshin Uzumaki
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Fame : 94
Home Village :
  • Star

Element(s) : Earth, Water, Fire, Wind,
Clan : Tau Clan
Bloodline : Earth Grudge Fear
Ryo : 25000
100%


PostSubject: Re: Miasma   Mon Apr 23, 2018 1:53 am

Clarified that when Miasma lingers it will still attach to people that come into contact with the cloud. Also gave the user the option of paying 50AP per post in order to keep Miasma at its full power as it lingers




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Kenshin Uzumaki
Nova Corps
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Fame : 94
Home Village :
  • Star

Element(s) : Earth, Water, Fire, Wind,
Clan : Tau Clan
Bloodline : Earth Grudge Fear
Ryo : 25000
100%


PostSubject: Re: Miasma   Wed May 16, 2018 12:32 pm

Doing a complete overhaul due to some rather large issues with the tech as is




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