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Maximillian Yamaguchi
Raikage
Raikage
Maximillian Yamaguchi

Fame : 103
Home Village :
  • Cloud

Element(s) : Lightning, Water
Clan : Yamaguchi
Ryo : 10
100%


Stein Empty
PostSubject: Stein   Stein I_icon_minitimeThu Jul 21, 2016 10:49 pm

Name: Stein
Appearance: Stein looks like a huge person, with stitching at several “seams” around his body. There are several holes where the decaying flesh is clear to see, festering and rotting away. The beast of a puppet is 7’ tall, with a shoulder width of 34” (just under 3 feet). It has various rods throughout its body for conducting chakra.
Rank: B-rank (Undead Puppet Classification)
Backstory: This puppet is designed as a “bruiser”. It was built so that Max would have a more powerful puppet to use against more powerful shinobi. It was one of Max’s earlier experiments, combining parts of several corpses in huge, sickening mass in order to use the “best parts” of each of the donors. This was the first attempt of Max to replicate life through his puppetry, though it was a failure. He intended on making it self-sufficient through the use of Lightning Chakra and internal “batteries” but this didn’t have the desired effect. It still functions as a rather advanced puppet though, so Max keeps on using it.

Health: 30 (Frame), 30 (Chakra Battery) 
Sharpness: N/a – Nothing sharp on the actual puppet.
Mechanisms: 

1: Stench of Death – Poison- B-Rank
-          Power 10, resisted by health stat. For each stack of “Stench of Death” their resistance to it decreases, making their effective health (vs "Stench of Death" and this alone) to decrease by 5. If the power of this exceeds their health or “effective health” then they die.
 
-          Each round within 2 meters of Puppet causes any living things in the area (Besides Maximillian) to gain 1 “stack” of “Stench of Death” (This particular puppet grants a max of 5 Stacks per Ninja).  
 
-          Duration: Must be activated at beginning of thread, cannot be deactivated. Lasts until end of topic.
 
-          Cost – 30 AP to activate, 5 AP to maintain. (Changed this to have a more standard cost as per Mortarions request.)

2: Life Siphoning – B-rank

-          Allows the puppeteer to use Chakra Absorption (and any future techniques that drain AP) using the puppet instead of itself. Cannot transfer the AP back to the puppeteer this way. This is because of a complex network of chakra conductive "wires" that run throughout Stein's body allowing the chakra flow of the user using the jutsu to flow throughout the puppet and effectively make the puppet the "user" of the technique. The fact that Stein is made up of Human remains might have something to do with the compatibility of the puppet utilizing the these "wires". Maxi isn't sure as to why the Siphoned AP cannot make it back to the puppeteer, but it doesn't seem to be able to no matter what he tries.

-          Each time the puppet makes contact with a living target, AP is drained from the target and transferred to an internal “chakra battery” within the puppet. It can store AP up to the Puppeteers Base Chakra Stat. This AP can only be used to use abilities for the puppet it is stored in. The AP remains stored until used (Not emptied at end of thread). The internal Chakra battery is hidden in the lower spine of Stein, while the "extra slot" is in his chest.

-          If the “battery” is ruptured or destroyed it will detonate, releasing all the stored AP out in a burst, damaging everything in a 5 meter radius equal to the AP stored within. This blast lasts for one post. Explosion rips Stein apart at his various seams (needs to be heavily repaired) and destroys the battery item completely.
-          Duration: Siphoning:Until Deactivated, Explosion: 1 post
-          Cost: 30 AP to activate, Upkeep: Cost of the jutsu's upkeep (20 AP for Chakra Absorption). The explosion effect does not cost AP, as it is not an intended use of the puppet and isn't something that can be controlled. 
-          One empty slot for a single additional “chakra battery” (Item to be made). Meaning a total of two "battery slots", one build into the puppet and one empty to be filled at a later time. 

3: It’s ALIVE! – B-Rank
-          When the puppeteer uses a Lighting Release Ninjutsu (Up to the Rank of the puppet), instead of using its intended effect they can transfer the power through the Chakra Threads to enhance the effectiveness of the puppet. The power of the Jutsu is instead added to the Strength or Speed of the puppet (Chosen upon casting)
-          Duration: Same as Jutsu
-          Cost: Cost of the Jutsu, plus an additional 20 AP to utilize.
-          Cooldown: Same as the Jutsu used.

 

Word count to build: ? (Base Cost is 3000 WC for B rank I believe. Unsure how to calculate Cost for puppets, though.
Character Specific: Not exactly (see below)
Bonus Requirements: Yamaguchi Clan (this is not a listed clan, so unless it becomes one you must have the surname Yamaguchi and OoC permission)





I welcome any feedback or questions. Thanks.


Doctor Max is not a licensed physician. His use of the word doctor is purely for aesthetic and stylistic effect -- see also: Pepper, Dre, Octopus. Max will not be held accountable for anything that might befall patients under his care.


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Last edited by Maximillian Yamaguchi on Sun Jul 31, 2016 9:31 am; edited 1 time in total
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Mortarion
Raikage
Raikage
Mortarion

Fame : 111
Home Village :
  • Sand

Element(s) : Earth,lightning,water,woo
Bloodline : Earth Grudge Fear, Sharingan EMS, Senju, Byakugan
Ryo : 260237
100%


Stein Empty
PostSubject: Re: Stein   Stein I_icon_minitimeFri Jul 22, 2016 4:19 pm

Alright everything looks like it's worded properly so i'm going to go through it and just point out al the things that you'll need to change or add. Since this is a B rank puppet each ability it has while in use is 30 ap so please add that, you aren't going above the caps so it's not higher.

1st ability can only stack 5 times, 10 is a bit much for a B rank. Your upkeep on it can remain 5 but it will cost you 30 to activate it.

2nd ability needs to be explained more on how its actually draining ap from people it touches so please expand on that just a bit more. The duration of the blast can't be forever lol unless you meant that it can just store ap and hold onto it forever. In that case you need to re word that to make it clear. Agin this will cost 30 ap to activate the siphoning

3rd ability is ok.


Stein Tumblr_m5qe1vhgTg1qekvhfo1_500
In the end, both sides shall be the same
In death, perhaps you will understand
Are you watching, Lord of Decay?!
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Maximillian Yamaguchi
Raikage
Raikage
Maximillian Yamaguchi

Fame : 103
Home Village :
  • Cloud

Element(s) : Lightning, Water
Clan : Yamaguchi
Ryo : 10
100%


Stein Empty
PostSubject: Re: Stein   Stein I_icon_minitimeSun Jul 31, 2016 9:44 am

Made the edits as you had asked. 

Changes made:
1. Changed the Stench of Death Stacks to only allow Stein to apply 5 instead of ten, and changed the cost as you had suggested.

2. Changed the blast to only be 1 post long. Clarified that the AP stored is what lasts until used. Changed the Cost to 30 to activate, with the upkeep being the same cost as the Chakra Absorption Jutsu. Added in a bit of explanation. Max added chakra conductive "wires" which when combined with the body's "natural" (it is made of human corpses after all) networking it allows the puppeteer to channel the jutsu through the puppet instead of themselves. 

Also clarified that the puppet starts with one built in "battery" with a second open slot for a single additional battery to be added at a later date.


Still unsure about the cost of the puppet. Don't know what would drive the base price up. As I will likely be making many puppets, any information here would prove incredibly valuable for future endeavors.

Thanks much for looking it over and helping out!


Doctor Max is not a licensed physician. His use of the word doctor is purely for aesthetic and stylistic effect -- see also: Pepper, Dre, Octopus. Max will not be held accountable for anything that might befall patients under his care.


Napa's Stats
Puppet Stats::
 
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Maximillian Yamaguchi
Raikage
Raikage
Maximillian Yamaguchi

Fame : 103
Home Village :
  • Cloud

Element(s) : Lightning, Water
Clan : Yamaguchi
Ryo : 10
100%


Stein Empty
PostSubject: Re: Stein   Stein I_icon_minitimeWed Aug 03, 2016 3:01 pm

Bump


Doctor Max is not a licensed physician. His use of the word doctor is purely for aesthetic and stylistic effect -- see also: Pepper, Dre, Octopus. Max will not be held accountable for anything that might befall patients under his care.


Napa's Stats
Puppet Stats::
 
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Mortarion
Raikage
Raikage
Mortarion

Fame : 111
Home Village :
  • Sand

Element(s) : Earth,lightning,water,woo
Bloodline : Earth Grudge Fear, Sharingan EMS, Senju, Byakugan
Ryo : 260237
100%


Stein Empty
PostSubject: Re: Stein   Stein I_icon_minitimeFri Aug 05, 2016 8:47 pm

Approved on watch just in case this gets weird lol.


Stein Tumblr_m5qe1vhgTg1qekvhfo1_500
In the end, both sides shall be the same
In death, perhaps you will understand
Are you watching, Lord of Decay?!
Stats:
 

Thread stats:
 

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Akuoy's stats
[00:33:46] Arashi Tekiatsu : ... why do I get the feeling that Youka can kill every PC Kumonin and Yaju still wouldn't fight...
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PostSubject: Re: Stein   Stein I_icon_minitime

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