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 Training with a passion for fashion (P)

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Orokana <3
Genin
Genin


Fame : 3
Home Village :
  • Leaf

Element(s) : Lightning, Fire
Clan : Yuhi
Clan Element : N/A
Ryo : 3900
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PostSubject: Re: Training with a passion for fashion (P)   Sat Mar 05, 2016 4:26 pm

Orokana woke up that morning tired but ready to train some more, since he has no teacher or training partners he tries hard so he can become strong. He walked around the village until he got to his training ground in the forest. its then when he saw it was a cloudy day and no one around, it looked like it started to rain. He saw someone use some lightning jutsu he knew was called lightning rod. he walked up to a tree and started storing up chakra. he stored it around his body and waited. he was a lightning user so he had faith he could do it. he released his chakra as soon as he touched the tree, sadly it did not work. he stored it around his body and waited. he released his chakra as soon as he touched the tree, sadly it did not work. but he tried again anyways. he knew it wont be as hard as learning the other jutsu he learned so he did it again. he stored it around his body and waited. he released his chakra as soon as he touched the tree. fuck.

Orokana paced the tree and took his chakra and formed it in his hands trying to shoot that tree with lightning. he tried toughing the tree again to make it burst with lightning. sadly it was a wash. Orokana sighed and sat in front of the tree. "fuck you." hr said a bit annoyed. he stored it around his body and waited. he released his chakra as soon as he touched the tree. he shocked himself. he looked at his hand. "oh good..." tried storing up chakra and kept doing it. just waiting and waiting. then he thought of a tree being shot bu lightning and he touched the tree hoping it would spark. but alas nothing happened. "god damn it." he sat back up.  he stored it around his body and waited. he released his chakra as soon as he touched the tree. Orokana sighed. he stored it around his body and waited. he released his chakra as soon as he touched the tree. come on now. backed away from it and sighed, facing it again and tried it again, storeing his chakra and  thinking of it exploded in his mind. then he ran to the tree but again nothing as he touched it.

After a bit of this the clouds darkened the sky more, it looked like it was about to rain. Orokana pulled up his hood and sighed about to put do it again. so many times he done training like this, doing the steps again and again till he gets it down. he wishes he had a teacher but as a loner he has no hope getting one. he closed his eyes and stored chakra. he yawned. then he opened his eyes. "fucking trees..." he whispered and he touched the tree again wanting it to spark. but nothing happened to the god damn tree. he released his chakra as soon as he touched the tree. maybe i should use something that makes me think of shocking. he stored it around his body and waited. he thought of lighting as he released his chakra as soon as he touched the tree. again nothing. fuck. he stored it around his body and waited. he released his chakra as soon as he touched the tree. more chakra this time? he stored it around his body and waited. he released his chakra as soon as he touched the tree. hmmm

Orokana groans. he stored it around his body and waited. he released his chakra as soon as he touched the tree. he takes a step back for a moment and breaths. "i am going to end up hating trees arent i." he said to him self. he was tired and his hands were dirty because of how much he needed to touch the tree. Orokana knew the steps. store chakra and touch something and the target should go boom. but it just was not working. he did not know how many times he did this but he was far beyond ready to stop. he did it again. all the steps. storing chakra and then touching a tree. but again like the tries before nothing happened at all. Orokana sighed again disappointed with himself and was sad he could not do something so simple faster then this. 

Orokana eyes twitched and he was about to say something but stopped himself, he did not want to be that guy that talks to trees. so he simply punched the tree. he wanted to relax a bit before going off and trying more so he kept punching the tree. left fist right fist left fist right fist. he kept doing it till his knuckles were red then he took out a kuni and started cutting the tree. he was slowly getting relaxed and was starting to feel better but only by so much. then he started kicking the tree. over and over and over again. he felt like he needed to do something to vent and this was working nicely. after a bit of time passing of him venting his rage he stopped.

he stored it around his body and waited. he released his chakra as soon as he touched the tree. fuck me another fail... he stored it around his body and waited for what felt like a hundred times. he released his chakra as soon as he touched the tree. Orokana sighs. he stored it around his body and waited. im going too scream. he released his chakra as soon as he touched the tree. nothing again, he twitched. he takes a step back for a moment and breaths. then goes back at it. he stored it around his body and waited. he released his chakra as soon as he touched the tree. he stored it around his body and waited. he thought of lighting as he released his chakra as soon as he touched the tree. again nothing. he stored it around his body and waited. he released his chakra as soon as he touched the tree. Orokana sighed. he stored it around his body and waited. he released his chakra as soon as he touched the tree. come on now

"why must i be so unlucky with the events called life..." Orokana paced the tree and took his chakra and formed it in his hands trying to shoot that tree with lightning. he tried toughing the tree again to make it burst with lightning. sadly it was a wash. Orokana sighed and sat in front of the tree. "fuck you." hr said a bit annoyed. he stored it around his body and waited. he released his chakra as soon as he touched the tree. he shocked himself. he looked at his hand. "again really!?" Orokana was sure this was just a greater force fucking with him and he did not like it one bit. he closed his eyes and stored chakra. he yawned. then he opened his eyes. "trees are evil..." he whispered and he touched the tree again wanting it to spark. but nothing happened to the god damn tree. he released his chakra as soon as he touched the tree. i will cut you. he stored it around his body and waited. he thought of lighting as he released his chakra as soon as he touched the tree. again nothing. fuck.. you...

Orokana was very annoyed with this tree. he will see it burn to the ground. as soon as he could shoot it with lightning. he stood there staring at the tree and thinking why the fuck am i so mad a tree. why does he torture himself like this on a daily biases. he holds one hand out and holds it with is other hand. "come on show me the lightning." he stood there storing up chakra to use lightning rod. again. and he just wanted to see this god damn tree go up in flames. but it failed. sadly. he felt like the worst lightning user ever.

he stored it around his body and waited. he released his chakra as soon as he touched the tree. he takes a step back for a moment and breaths. then goes back at it. he stored it around his body and waited. he released his chakra as soon as he touched the tree. he stored it around his body and waited. released his chakra as soon as he slowly touched the tree. Orokana twitches. he stored it around his body and waited. he released his chakra as soon as he touched the tree. he takes a step back for a moment and breaths. then goes back at it. he stored it around his body and waited. he released his chakra as soon as he touched the tree. fuck me. he stored it around his body and waited. he released his chakra as soon as he touched the tree. Orokana sighes. he stored it around his body and waited. he released his chakra as soon as he touched the tree. he takes a step back for a moment and breaths. then goes back at it. he stored it around his body and waited. he released his chakra as soon as he touched the tree. he stored it around his body and waited. he thought of lighting as he released his chakra as soon as he touched the tree. again nothing. he stored it around his body and waited. he released his chakra as soon as he touched the tree. Orokana sighed. he stored it around his body and waited. he released his chakra as soon as he touched the tree.  he stored it around his body and waited. he released his chakra as soon as he touched the tree. he stored it around his body and waited. god damn it. he stored it around his body and waited. he released his chakra as soon as he touched the tree. lightning why!



Orokana come on you can set fire to a tree any day, if you do not how can you be any wheres near a good ninja. He looked at the tree with dislike. lucky for him he was not getting rained on. he backed away from the tree and stored up more chakra and kept his stare on the tree. he did not break it for a moment. then he slowly walked to the tree. keeping his eyes on it like a hawk watching its prey. he touched the tree once more but it did not light up. so he sighed and cursed under his breath. he was sure he at lest cursed a hundred times today. he punched the tree out of rage again and sighed deeply. he stored it around his body and waited. he thought of lighting as he released his chakra as soon as he touched the tree. again nothing. he stored it around his body and waited. he released his chakra as soon as he touched the tree. Orokana sighed. he stored it around his body and waited. he released his chakra as soon as he touched the tree. come on now you fucking tree!

Orokana sighed. he stored it around his body and waited. he released his chakra as soon as he touched the tree. come on now. he stored it around his body and waited. he released his chakra as soon as he touched the tree. he stored it around his body and waited. god damn it. he stored it around his body and waited. he released his chakra as soon as he touched the tree. lightning why do you need to be such a prick. he stored it around his body and waited. he released his chakra as soon as he touched the tree. Orokana sighs. Orokana tried again. he stored up chakra and stored some more. thought of lightning hitting a tree and then he released his chakra as soon as he touched the tree. lightning flew out of his hands and the tree light a flame. Orokana smiled. then rain started to fall putting out the fire he made. Orokana was happy with what he has done.

(words 2042, claiming lightning rod and 10 stats)



"I don't suffer from my insanity, i enjoy every minute of it"
"The light of our hearts is even darker then black, the dim glimmer of hell itself."
"Before creation there is destruction, if my soul stands in the way, then I'll toss it aside. Yes, i have no choice but to move forward."


Last edited by Orokana <3 on Sat Mar 05, 2016 6:40 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Akihana Akari
Akatsuki
Akatsuki


Fame : 372
Home Village :
  • Star

Element(s) : Fire, Lightning, Water
Clan : Akari
Clan Element : Light
Bloodline : Golden Eye
Ryo : 47600
100%


PostSubject: Re: Training with a passion for fashion (P)   Sat Mar 05, 2016 4:41 pm

Okay so a couple of problems with this:

Firstly, your writing is a block of text, please always ensure that you write in paragraphs as those are much easier to read on both your posting partner's part as well as the mod who reviews it.

Secondly, I found that you repeat certain phrasings pretty much word for word. Like " he stored it around his body and waited.". This is used four times. Other repeated phrases include "he released his chakra as soon as he touched the tree". I'm not entirely sure if this is an accident but I'll give you the benefit of the doubt since I don't think anyone would copy paste phrases to increase word count like that.

So yeah, please try and break this up into a couple of easily readable paragraphs and try to use different words/tenses to express what your character is doing. We are a site based on writing so have fun and be creative with it. <3


You're awesome, give yourself a treat. <3

"Though my soul may set in darkness, it will rise in perfect light.
I have loved the stars too fondly, to be fearful of the night."

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Akihana Akari
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Fame : 372
Home Village :
  • Star

Element(s) : Fire, Lightning, Water
Clan : Akari
Clan Element : Light
Bloodline : Golden Eye
Ryo : 47600
100%


PostSubject: Re: Training with a passion for fashion (P)   Sat Mar 05, 2016 7:04 pm


The repetitive phrasing it still present. <3


You're awesome, give yourself a treat. <3

"Though my soul may set in darkness, it will rise in perfect light.
I have loved the stars too fondly, to be fearful of the night."

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Orokana <3
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Genin


Fame : 3
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Element(s) : Lightning, Fire
Clan : Yuhi
Clan Element : N/A
Ryo : 3900
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PostSubject: Re: Training with a passion for fashion (P)   Sat Mar 05, 2016 7:07 pm

its so hard not to be in this case ;-; all im doing is trying to hit a tree with lighting buy following the steps over and over till i get it down, unless you want me to run around the forest doing it but its still going have the same things being done



"I don't suffer from my insanity, i enjoy every minute of it"
"The light of our hearts is even darker then black, the dim glimmer of hell itself."
"Before creation there is destruction, if my soul stands in the way, then I'll toss it aside. Yes, i have no choice but to move forward."
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View user profile Online
Akihana Akari
Akatsuki
Akatsuki


Fame : 372
Home Village :
  • Star

Element(s) : Fire, Lightning, Water
Clan : Akari
Clan Element : Light
Bloodline : Golden Eye
Ryo : 47600
100%


PostSubject: Re: Training with a passion for fashion (P)   Sat Mar 05, 2016 7:20 pm


Very well I'll approve it this time but next time please try to be more creative with your wording <3


You're awesome, give yourself a treat. <3

"Though my soul may set in darkness, it will rise in perfect light.
I have loved the stars too fondly, to be fearful of the night."

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Orokana <3
Genin
Genin


Fame : 3
Home Village :
  • Leaf

Element(s) : Lightning, Fire
Clan : Yuhi
Clan Element : N/A
Ryo : 3900
100%


PostSubject: Re: Training with a passion for fashion (P)   Mon Mar 07, 2016 2:58 am

Orokana woke up and looked around. it looked like a cloudy misty day. orokana got out of bed and get dressed. then he walked o0ut of his little home. he walked past people, young, old. till he got to the forest. then he started his daily work out training. he started with storing his chakra and clearing his mind. it was quiet. then some people walked past talking about a new book store they found, he did not know of this one so he wanted to check it out. but he kept storing chakra. then he did a gen release. he repeated it again and again. then he stood up and took out a kuni, slashing at a tree. leaving marks in it. he kept doing trying to get faster. then he ran a lap around the forest. he saw some people enjoying themselves and he saw some birds doing there thing in tress, singing and what not.  and then got up going back to the village to find this book store. he roamed the streets and ignore stores he didn't care for. then he found it. orokana smiled.

Orokana was in a books tore looking for a book or scroll. he find a dusty old scroll title "Demonic Illusion: Tree Binding Death." orokana looked at the scroll and dusted it off, sitting down, reading it a bit. this looks very good, very good indeed hehe. Orokana was shocked to find something like this. he went up to the old book keeper and asked for it. luck was in his favour because the old man gave it to him for free because it was not his. he walked out of the store, going to his place to meet a old friend. some guy that lives near him. he was young, blond hair, blue eyes, short, loud. most people liked the guy. his name was Noah. Orokana saw his run down place, it was a dump. rusty old, no decent people living in it. Noah waved at him. "Hey orokana hey!" Noah yelled. orokana didn't mind him but he did not always like how he would always yell, but he could not control it so he did not care a lot. "hello Noah, hey do you mind if I use you to help train me with this new genjutsu I found? its harmless." Orokana said kindly, Noah nodded happily.

Orokana opened the door to his place. Noah walked in sitting down at the table. "so how badly will it hurt." Noah said smiling, his teeth white and clean. "not at all, well as long as I don't do anything." orokana sat across from him. "it says here The user first disappears from plain sight in a mist-like fashion in order to approach the target without being detected. The target is then completely robbed of their mobility as they see the mirage of a fast-growing tree coiling itself around them. Once the target is immobile, the user can then attack the enemy. The user remains in his cloaked, "disappeared" state for the first post of the jutsu." orokana read from the scroll. Noah nodded and sat straight. "ok do it, I'm ready to help you orokana." Noah said. Orokana felt like he was always a servant with how Noah acted. Orokana nodded and noted his readiness. I should use him more often, this blond idiot is like putting in my hands. orokana smiled.

Orokana took in his chakra. it flew in him and was kind a warm. orokana opened his eyes and looked at Noah. orokana did the signs and let his chakra out, waiting to see Noah's reaction. "misty?" Noah said trying to sound helpful. "Noah?" orokana said. "try again" Noah said with a smile. Noah nodded happily and waited for orokana to do it again. orokana studied the scroll, reviewing what needed to be done. he tilted his head. and sighed a bit while reading. Noah kept quiet and watched him, he shifted in his seat waiting for the next go.

orokana read the jutsu once more in his head. The user first disappears from plain sight in a mist-like fashion in order to approach the target without being detected. The target is then completely robbed of their mobility as they see the mirage of a fast-growing tree coiling itself around them. Once the target is immobile, the user can then attack the enemy. The user remains in his cloaked, "disappeared" state for the first post of the jutsu. seems easy. the scroll said it needed dog snake monkey ox tiger hand signs. so orokana did the signs over and over trying to memorize them. Noah watched and gleamed with joy. his eyes studying the signs. orokana looked at Noah and nodded, showing Noah he was about to start. Noah nodded back showing he was ready and orokana closed his eyes.

Orokana took in his chakra. it flew in him and was kind a warm. orokana opened his eyes and looked at Noah. orokana did the signs and let his chakra out, waiting to see Noah's reaction. "well orokana it looks like it didn't work, you are not.. um.. misty?" Noah said trying to sound helpful. "damn, ok lets do it again, I want to get it down before you go, ok Noah?" orokana said with a smile. Noah nodded happily and waited for orokana to do it again. orokana studied the scroll, reviewing what needed to be done. he tilted his head. and sighed a bit while reading. Noah kept quiet and watched him, he shifted in his seat waiting for the next go.


Orokana looked away from the scroll and closed his eyes. his hair falling in front of his eyes. then like last time his chakra stored inside of him. he waited till he could no longer feel like he could store any more. then slowly he did the signs, dog snake monkey ox tiger, in that order. Noah has humming softly. then he let out his stored up chakra and let it go. he opened his eyes looking at Noah waiting too see if it worked, in the back of orokanas mind he knew it would not but he hoped. "I am sorry, again nothing, try again?" Noah said his smile fading. "ok, how about you let me study it more and you cook dinner?" orokana said with a soft tone. "ok, it will be an hour ok?" orokana nodded.

orokana looked at the scroll, read it intensely and tried memorizing how its shown on the scroll. The user first disappears from plain sight in a mist-like fashion in order to approach the target without being detected. The target is then completely robbed of their mobility as they see the mirage of a fast-growing tree coiling itself around them. Once the target is immobile, the user can then attack the enemy. The user remains in his cloaked, "disappeared" state for the first post of the jutsu. as orokana read it a thought popped in his mind. why a tree? why not a rock or a firewall? a tree doesn't streak me with death or fear, but eh what do I know? then orokana continued to read and study it.

Noah finished dinner and they ate, it was a quick meal bc orokana wanted to get back at it. Noah finished his meal as fats as orokana did. "ok here we go, round 2, you ready Noah my friend?" orokana said cockily. Noah nodded fast and made a tough guy face. they laughed a bit. then orokana took in a big breath and closed the scroll. he didn't need it he memorized it. he felt so at lest. orokana closed his eyes and breathed slowly letting the chakra naturally flow inside of him self. it took a bit of time but then he felt he had all the chakra he could get. then did the signs again, in order. and then looked at Noah. Noah's hair was a bit messy. Noah nodded and so did orokana then he let his chakra fly out, orokana waited patiently. Noah frowned, it looked unnatural on him. "nope nothing, again, another go?" orokana nodded slowly.

orokana sighed, he wasn't ready for this hell, but it was a hell he had to do, maybe he would impress yen, anyways he tried again looking at Noah. the chakra took longer this time to fill up but orokana ignored it and waited. then once again he did the seals and let out the chakra like a storm. Noah signalled nothing happened. so alas he tried it again. orokana sighed. Noah looked a bit upset because he knew he couldn't help at all. orokana stood up and paced. he needed a break and wanted to feel relaxed. he went and got a drink. he had a full glass of what and it was worth the walk. he drinked it in one go, and then sat in his spot again. "ok ok lets do it again." orokana was determined. Noah nodded.

orokana thought of the steps again. he nodded to himself and repeated it. then he noted the signs. as he thought he let the chakra store in his body again. he waited and waited. Noah was looking nervous, he wanted his friend to do it but orokana was getting a scary look on his face. then orokana looked at Noah in the eye, Noah had cool sweats run down his neck. then orokana tried it once he was full of chakra and he did the seals. Noah sighed a bit, because it didn't work. "damn...this isn't going to be fun for me is it..." orokana smiled, he was kind a enjoying it, Noah on the other hand looked like he would pee himself.

orokana looked at the scroll, read it intensely and tried memorizing how its shown on the scroll. The user first disappears from plain sight in a mist-like fashion in order to approach the target without being detected. The target is then completely robbed of their mobility as they see the mirage of a fast-growing tree coiling itself around them. Once the target is immobile, the user can then attack the enemy. The user remains in his cloaked, "disappeared" state for the first post of the jutsu. as orokana read it he noted he missed something. wasn't big but it looked like he needed to be fast with the signs. so orokana nodded and stored chakra and slowly it formed in him. Noah was getting tried and looked sleepy. orokana did the signs again but faster. Noah didn't even moved, orokana could tell it didn't work.

Orokana took in his chakra. it flew in him and was kind a warm. orokana opened his eyes and looked at Noah. orokana did the signs and let his chakra out, waiting to see Noah's reaction. "misty?" Noah said trying to sound helpful. "Noah?" orokana said. "try again" Noah said with a smile. Noah nodded happily and waited for orokana to do it again. orokana studied the scroll, reviewing what needed to be done. he tilted his head. and sighed a bit while reading. Noah kept quiet and watched him, he shifted in his seat waiting for the next go.

orokana wasn't mad but he was feeling drained. but so what, he had a mission and he was going to do it with all he could muster. but sadly Noah was not feeling the same. Orokana smiled looking at Noah. he opened his mind. and then stored chakra. I can not wait till I can use this jutsu." orokana said smiling. "yeah it sounds cool." Noah said tired still. orokana kept storing the chakra and a slow but steady pace. he wanted it to work very well on Noah to surprise him and wake him up. orokana casted the jutsu by using the hand signs, and Noah stoped moving. he looked. seeing orokana fade into mist for a moment but coming back. Noah was shocked. he told orokana what he saw and orokana was smiling. progress was being made and he was getting closer.

orokana pulled out the scroll reading it again to see if he missed anything. it read The user first disappears from plain sight in a mist-like fashion in order to approach the target without being detected. The target is then completely robbed of their mobility as they see the mirage of a fast-growing tree coiling itself around them. Once the target is immobile, the user can then attack the enemy. The user remains in his cloaked, "disappeared" state for the first post of the jutsu. the more he read this the more it sounded awesome and exciting. orokana smiled like a kid on charismas. Noah was smiling as well.

Orokana took in his chakra. it flew in him and was kind a warm. orokana opened his eyes and looked at Noah. orokana did the signs and let his chakra out, waiting to see Noah's reaction. "needs more mist." Noah said trying to sound helpful. "Noah?" orokana said. "try again" Noah said. Noah nodded happily and waited for orokana to do it again. orokana studied the scroll, reviewing what needed to be done. he tilted his head. and sighed a bit while reading. Noah kept quiet and watched him. Orokana took in his chakra. it flew in him. orokana opened his eyes and looked at Noah. orokana did the signs and let his chakra out, waiting to see Noah's reaction. "Noah?" orokana said. "try again" Noah said with a smile. Noah nodded happily and waited for orokana to do it again. orokana studied the scroll, reviewing what needed to be done. he tilted his head.

"Noah what time is it? 12, 1?" Noah shook his head. "its 10." Noah said looking at the clock. "damn, I thought it was later... well just means we have more time eh." Noah nodded in agreement. orokana tried again. this time he forced the chakra to come in him fast. it only took moments. Noah looked out the window. orokana casted the jutsu again. Noah looked and saw orokana fade in to mist, it was getting closer but not fully there yet. "man its getting really close, its freaking me out man" Noah said smiling me. orokana had a chance.

orokana smiled and looked up at the ceiling and sighed, he felt relaxed. then he tensed as he let the chakra go in again naturally. he waited and thought about the jutsu, how to do it. Noah yawned. orokana then looked at Noah, his blond friend, and cast the jutsu, Noah jumped a bit, the mist was lasting for longer and nah began to feel more nervous. orokana noted his friends jump and grinned. "scared my friend?" orokana said teasingly. "no, how could someone like you ever scare me you idiot." Noah said back smiling. orokana looked at the so did Noah. The user first disappears from plain sight in a mist-like fashion in order to approach the target without being detected. The target is then completely robbed of their mobility as they see the mirage of a fast-growing tree coiling itself around them. Once the target is immobile, the user can then attack the enemy. The user remains in his cloaked, "disappeared" state for the first post of the jutsu. "man how many times do you need to read it." Noah said "fuck of blondie." orokana said back.

Orokana stood up and closed his eyes, trying to do it standing up this time. he closed his mind. ignoring Noah and listening to the wind, then he took chakra slowly, more and more. orokana felt it filling up. then he stopped. he looked at his friend Noah and casted the jutsu. this time he completely deformed into mist. he was gone for a moment. the reformed. Noah smiled and waited for the next go. man I'm getting so excited to see me over come this, get ready for a tree to he face! hehe.

orokana thought of the steps again. he nodded to himself and repeated it. then he noted the signs. as he thought he let the chakra store in his body again. he waited and waited. Noah was looking nervous, the whole tree and mist thing freaked him out. then orokana looked at Noah in the eye, Noah had cool sweats run down his neck. then orokana tried it once he was full of chakra and he did the seals. Noah sighed a bit, because it didn't work. "man this is more fun then I thought ." orokana looked at Noah.

"can we take a break? its late..." Noah said. orokana sat down. "no we are almost done I can feel it, one more hour ok?" orokana plead. Noah sighed and nodded. "thanks man." orokana said. Noah ignored it and sighed. Orokana was thinking if there was a different way he could go about this. he thought about it for a moment and he could not think of anything. so orokana shrugged and tried it how he has been doing it. he sighed and got the chakra he needed while relaxing. then he did the seals fast and tried it on his friend Noah. "man I hope I don't die from this, all he hard work I do." Noah chuckled. orokana watched his eyes try to find him when he casted it. Noah then looked back at orokana. "mist is so pretty, until you come back." Noah said yawning.

orokana smiled at Noah. he felt like a hundrede bucks and Noah was trying not to sleep, orokana chuckled. then he looked at the time, it was almost time before Noah would leave. orokana looked back at Noah. his blue eyes looked tired and his hair was messy. orokana went to do  his steps, take in chakra. wait till it was all in. then he would let the seals he make go fast. then look ay Noah and cast the gen jutsu. this time Noah jumped a lot more. to Noah orokana was completely gone, he vanished, Noah was laughing. "man your like two steps away from doing it." orokana smiled, he felt proud.

Orokana stood up and fixed his coat. then he looked at Noah. Noah nodded, orokana nodded back slowly. orokanas heart was beating fast. then he closed his mind and let the chakra flow in him gently. after a bit he finally did it. the chakra was full in him. orokana did not know how many times he did this but he knew it was more then enough times. then he did the signs, Dog Snake Monkey Ox Tiger. then orokana casted the gen jutsu on his blond friend Noah. Noah went wide eyes when he saw his friend form into mist. Noah couldn't see or hear orokana at all then Noah looked down seeing a tree grow around him and take his body. Noah felt panicked and tried moving but he couldn't, orokana stopped the jutsu and made sure Noah was fine. Noah looked at him. "well it works very well." Noah said standing. "well yeah hehe, thanks Noah." Noah nodded and walked out the door going to his home, orokana was thrilled. he got a new jutsu and he was even more stronger. orokana isn't done yet he still has many more jutsu to learn. orokana smiled more and went to go to sleep, tomorrow he still has training to do and it was late as is. "good night" he said to himself.

(3251 words, claiming Demonic Illusion: Tree Binding Death http://naruto-role-play-rpg.forumotion.com/t24196-magen-jibaku-satsu, and 16 stats)



"I don't suffer from my insanity, i enjoy every minute of it"
"The light of our hearts is even darker then black, the dim glimmer of hell itself."
"Before creation there is destruction, if my soul stands in the way, then I'll toss it aside. Yes, i have no choice but to move forward."


Last edited by Orokana <3 on Mon Mar 07, 2016 3:26 am; edited 1 time in total
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Akihana Akari
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Element(s) : Fire, Lightning, Water
Clan : Akari
Clan Element : Light
Bloodline : Golden Eye
Ryo : 47600
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PostSubject: Re: Training with a passion for fashion (P)   Mon Mar 07, 2016 3:12 am


Please include a link to your stat page in your signature as well as a link to the tech you're trying to claim. <3


You're awesome, give yourself a treat. <3

"Though my soul may set in darkness, it will rise in perfect light.
I have loved the stars too fondly, to be fearful of the night."

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Orokana <3
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PostSubject: Re: Training with a passion for fashion (P)   Mon Mar 07, 2016 3:26 am

there?



"I don't suffer from my insanity, i enjoy every minute of it"
"The light of our hearts is even darker then black, the dim glimmer of hell itself."
"Before creation there is destruction, if my soul stands in the way, then I'll toss it aside. Yes, i have no choice but to move forward."
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Orokana <3
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Fame : 3
Home Village :
  • Leaf

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Clan : Yuhi
Clan Element : N/A
Ryo : 3900
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PostSubject: Re: Training with a passion for fashion (P)   Mon Mar 07, 2016 3:55 pm

Orokana woke up one morning thinking of mark seals. he remembered reading about it. and it sounded like something he wanted to get. so orokana decided he would get it for todays training. the sun was out and kids were playing. sadly they were loud. orokana got dressed and got ready. he grabbed an apple thinking he could use this for his training. orokana looked at the apple and put his hand on it. he tried making the seal form on the apple with his chakra. he let the chakra form. but it didn't feel quiet right, it seemed like it was there but it looked too hazy and not correct. so orokana shrugged and did it on a different side of the apple. he closed his eyes and breathed steadily. the chakra made the seal on the red apple and then orokana looked at his work. it was smaller and looked like it was missing something. so he went on the only place left on the apple. he stored chakra and then let it softly flow on the apple, swirl around it making a mark seal. orokana opened studied the apple. the mark looked good enough. so orokana decided to see what he could mark. he tried it again on his bed. orokana opened his mind and let the chakra come in like water. slowly and slowly it went in him till he felt he was full, then he relased the chakra so it could form the mark seal. as it was forming it looked like it was hazy a bit. orokana frowned. so he did it again. he let the chakra go in slowly. then form on a spot on his bed. it slowly formed and orokana smiled. he got on his shoes and went to find Noah. he needed a person for his next step. orokana walked outside and walked past people talking, kids playing till he got to Noah's house. orokana knocked and Noah answered, orokana asked if he could use him, Noah nodded while yawning and went inside. orokana followed and sat down at the table, Noah looked at him with his blond messy hair. orokana sighed and tried to relax. then he et the chakra go in him and got more relaxed. he let the chakra form the mark as soon as he touched Noah. Noah couldn't see it but orokana could. orokana sighed as the mark wasn't right. noah tilted his head and watched more. orokana closed his eyes and forced and waited till he felt full of chakra, then he touche dhis friend again and the marked formed. Noah watched his friend and was a bit confused. then it was perfect, the mark was set. orokana said thanks to Noah and Noah nodded, then orokana got up fixed his coat and walked out. as he was walking away orokana could feel Noah move and do his thing, cleaning he guessed. orokana smiled and walked back to his place. he saw the apple and took a bit, he could feel the apple go in his body. it was a weird feeling, but he shrugged it off, another day another jutsu learned.

(528 words, claiming http://naruto-role-play-rpg.forumotion.com/t22503-v6-mark-seal, and 2 stats)



"I don't suffer from my insanity, i enjoy every minute of it"
"The light of our hearts is even darker then black, the dim glimmer of hell itself."
"Before creation there is destruction, if my soul stands in the way, then I'll toss it aside. Yes, i have no choice but to move forward."
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Akihana Akari
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Akatsuki


Fame : 372
Home Village :
  • Star

Element(s) : Fire, Lightning, Water
Clan : Akari
Clan Element : Light
Bloodline : Golden Eye
Ryo : 47600
100%


PostSubject: Re: Training with a passion for fashion (P)   Mon Mar 07, 2016 4:17 pm

Approved <3


You're awesome, give yourself a treat. <3

"Though my soul may set in darkness, it will rise in perfect light.
I have loved the stars too fondly, to be fearful of the night."

Important information:
 


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PostSubject: Re: Training with a passion for fashion (P)   Today at 8:12 am

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