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 Traveling the Village (solo training)

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UchihaLegend
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Fame : 198
Home Village :
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Clan : Uchiha
Bloodline : Sharingan - EMS State/Rinnegan.
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PostSubject: Re: Traveling the Village (solo training)   Mon Aug 19, 2013 12:39 am

Denied, there is a lot of problems with this, and that is only in the first couple thousand words. Mentioning cars, the over dramatization of your speed on how your evading 70 speed cars at your speed of 30, how time is slowed down and birds are stalled in the air, and many other things.

Quote :

The world was a step around and the entities of space would call him for help. He saw time itself opening up it's maul to swallow him. The thought of being able to go back in time and possibly stop his past self from drinking it.
Space Entities? This is no doubt from something else as this entire training session makes no sense, the entire thing is denied.


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